Happy, Sometimes

I’ll miss you, I whisper, my head on his shoulder. I’ll miss the life we created.

I hear him sigh, his breath hitting the top of my head.

You were happy sometimes, right?

I was happy lots of times.

You don’t think – he pauses. You don’t think one day, you’ll only remember the bad shit?

I’d like to think no, I pause. It seems lazy to only remember the bad. And courage to remember the good, ‘cause it hurts.

He nods.

I promise to try and remember it well, however that changes overtime.

You can’t promise that.

I can promise to try.

He cups my shoulder with his hand. I wonder what we’ll hold onto from each other. And what we’ll forget.

I think I’ll always remember what it felt like to sleep next to you. I hope anyway.

He nods. I’ll remember the feeling I had the first time I saw you.

Yeah?

I meant what I said – when I proposed, he pauses. I knew life would never be the same. I guess I just didn’t know how.